Pity Party!

I need to throw a pity party for myself for a few minutes. So if you don't want to read then you might want to skip this blog post.
I really try to stay positive and try to make the best of being a mom of kids with special needs. Some days (most days), I end up feeling sad about my kids never growing up and having a normal live. Most people don't want to deal with me/my kids because they feel awkward or don't know what to say to me. I laugh at myself, because I really don't want them to say anything at all. I just sometimes might need a caring ear and understanding.
I laugh when moms say, oh it will get better or this faze will pass. I have been stuck in this same faze for 4 1/2 years!
My days consist of, running one child or the other to a therapy (or even 2 or 3 therapy's a day). Then I have to fight Elizabeth to eat,go to sleep,stay in the grocery cart etc.
It just doesn't seem fair ! What I would give to have my children tell me they love me or hug/kiss me and know what it means. What I would give to have a conversation with Elizabeth. Not an elaborate conversation or course but a I am hungry or I am sad or I need to poop. Or I want this or that. Instead she just whines all day. Anyways, I could go on and on.
Anyways, if you are still reading, I am sorry.

Kalia

It will be a year tomorrow since I lost my dear friend Kalia to cancer. I still miss her calls and friendship. I will catch myself thinking of Kalia when I watch certain movies or hear certain songs that we liked. Or when something exciting or funny happens I think of how Kalia would love to hear about it. She was always there to listen. She was always routing for me and always knew what to say to me to make things seem better. I am thankful for her influence in my life.

The Best Combination Ever!!!

Elizabeth could not be a happier girl. She loves the Chick-Fil-A cow and Santa. So when the two were combined it was a dream come true. She is also obsessed with Snowmen :)

It is Up to Me to decide!

So I have decided that only I can make my life happier. I kept wishing for bigger and better things to come along but then they wouldn't and I would get depressed and have a pity party. I would say things like why me and if only and my life stinks. What I found was the worse I felt, the worse I got depressed. It was a downword spiral. I didn't even want to be me anymore.

SO I have been trying this new thing for the past week and a half. It is called focus on the positive and find joy in life. It is a funny thing. When I made it up in my mind to do this, I found not only that I was happier but my family seemed happier too.
My problems and challenges haven't gotten any better, but my attitude has. I feel like my old self is starting to emerge. I must say I have missed it.
Every night before Cory and I go to bed we each list 5 things we are thankful for. Some nights I am tired and don't want to do it but it helps me to realize how much I am thankful for the things I have. My favorite so far is, I am thankful for the washing machine. Could you imagine not having one.

I'm Sexy and I Know It

SO not really, but one can try right????? I had to pose with a poetry book as part of a project for my literature class. I felt I needed to post a picture of me as a "mature" student in college. Enjoy

My Girls!

Even though my girls drive me nuts, they are pretty cute. I am lucky that I have them in my life.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!

I have a big announcement.....I am not pregnant.....Ahahahaa....Everyone I know seems like they are pregnant or just had a baby. YOU know what though....I am happy for everyone who is pregnant but I am happier that I don't have to wake up at midnight,2,4,6 in the morning. Two kids are enough for me right now.