Bad Blogger In the House!

I really have fallen off the blog wagon....I know I need to do better but I feel like I live a much less exciting life as others do. Well lets catch everyone up to speed on my families awesomeness....

I started classes again at the end of  August. I am taking Public Speaking, Abnormal Psychology, General Biology and Sociology. I am slowley trudging along with getting the classes I need to be admitted into the Social Work program.
I am also keeping busy picking my girls up from school and running them to speech and occupational therapy every day. I feel like a taxi cab most days. In my spare time I have been trying to catch up on sleep. I also got bangs about a month ago and I love them so much.
 I have also been trying to focus on the positive in my life. It helps to not get frazzeled and stressed over everything.

Elizabeth is in kindergarten this year. She is doing so good. He new ADHD medicine has done wonders. She is currently working on learning how to write the alphabet. She knows how to write her name. Elizabeth has aso been doing awesome on caring about Sarah. Elizabeths curent obssesion is watching anything with Minnie Mouse or Olivia in it. She is turning into such a sweet kid.

Sarah recently started Early Headstart. She has really been doing well in it. All the little boys love  Sarah. She will difinitly be a heartbreaker someday. She is starting to communicate with us which is helpful. We just bought her a big girl bed and I am hoping she will be excited to sleep in it.

Cory is keeping busy still working at Wal Mart and taking up some of the household chores.

Mary Poppins?

 
Actually Mary Poppins didn't come to our house but Charity did. She is Elizabeths' new attendant. She comes to our house Sunday through Thursday from 3-7 to help me with Elizabeth. As an added bonus she helps me with Sarah too. I actually have my life partially back. I had forgotten what it felt like to not be in crisis mode by the end of each day.
Here is a short list of what I can do now.

-Make dinner without my house/kids going crazy
-Go to the store without feeling frazzled the whole time.
-  Get parts of my house cleaned.
- Not worry that Elizabeth is going to run out into the street.
 - I have another adult to talk to instead of just talking to myself all day.

Those are just a few things. In the weeks she has been here I have also managed to have a clean kitchen,living room and both the girls rooms have stayed mostly cleaned. I am thankful for the help that she provides. 

I Wish Spinach Would Make me Stronger!

I am trying to find the strength to take care of my children. It can be soooo hard to take care of their special needs. I wish I was stronger to deal with the day to day meltdowns, panic attacks and whining. I want my kids to be happy. That's all I want.I feel like Sarah is happy most of the time but Elizabeth seems so miserable. I wish I could have one normal day where there is peace in my house.
I had to fight Elizabeth 45 minutes today to sit in her car seat because she saw a fly in the car and she is deathly afraid of flies. I just want her to be calm and content in her little body. He sensory issues are so bad that it is hard to see her sweet little spirit. I see glimpses of it from time to time.
I guess I will have to wait for the day when we are in Heaven and her and I can have a normal conversation. How I long for that. I just need to be grateful for what I can learn from her and Sarah now.

New Weight Loss Plan

I am starting a new weight loss plan.....I am doing the Visalus 90 day challenge. I drink 2 of their shakes and then have a sensible meal at dinnertime.
 I have almost been through my first day on this new plan. I must say, I am pleasantly surprised. I haven't been starving like I normally am when I change eating habits. I am determined to make it through the 90 days. I am hoping this first 90 days will give me a good jump start at getting some of this weight off.
Wish me luck!

Hola! There is a Crafty Chick In The House

So ya'll I actually completed a craft project. I had to do a "How To" manual for my Technical Writing class and decided to make a fabric headboard for the project. I must say that it turned out decently. I am seriously craft challenged so I am proud of my work of art.

Amazing

I have been doing a lot of You Tubing (is that an accurate thing to call it when looking on you tube)these past few days and stumbled upon this amazing music video sung by Nicole Sheahan. She is super talented and I totally want to by her CD off of I Tunes.

I need to shake this feeling Off!

I hate to admit it and I am embarrassed to say it, but I too often compare myself to others. I wish I could have a life like this or that person. Or a clean house like that person. Or good crafting skills like that person over there. Or a perfect body after having multiple children like this other person.
Well ladies and gentlemen, I feel like a loser today. I wish it weren't that way.
I totally know who is putting these feelings of inadequacy in my head. Quite frankly, I want to tell him to leave me alone. Dangit!
I am not a loser. I am important! My life may not be perfect but I am doing as best as I can.
I am Beautiful and Special to Heavenly Father. I found this song in my loser moment today and wanted to share this because it helped me feel better.

Guess What I am Doing During My Spring Break!?!

For Spring Break this year I have decided that instead of going on a vacation by myself.....I am......YOu probably already guessed (haha just kidding)..... getting my left eyelid redone. Doesn't that sound like lots of fun??? I am actually kinda excited about it. I am hoping that once the surgery is done, my left eyelid will match my right eyelid. I am tired of looking like I am blinking in all of my pictures. I am tired of feeling like people are staring at my droopy lid. Hopefully this surgery will give me a self esteem boost.
I guess it is better then getting a boob job.

OUCH!

I always have told Cory that child birth is very painful and he would never ever know what it is to push out a kid.
That being said, this past week poor Cory has had shingles. I have always heard it can be painful but until you see a loved one go through it it is hard to imagine. The poor thing thought he had a pinched nerve and just said he would suck it up. On Wednesday night, he was getting ready for bed and felt something weird on his back. He came in and asked me to see what it was. To my horror it was a red blistery inflamed rash. Not only was it on his back, but it was also on his chest. Cory has been in so much pain that he can't get out of bed. He has even been groaning from pain in his sleep. I am hoping that he will recover soon. Shingles can last awhile. He said it is more painful then when he broke his collar bone.
This experience has also made me grateful that I am not a single mom. It is hard taking care of 2 small kids day in and day out without any help or anytime to take a small break.

I need an Intervention

I was seriously starting to feel like a hoarder. A hoarder of kids clothing that is. Boxes upon boxes of girl clothes (every size), have been staring me in the face everywhere I look in this small apartment. Every closet had boxes stacked up. Not only that,the clothes were taking over my kitchen table and part of my dining room. I don't know how it got so bad (actually I do. It is called, every time a friend or well meaning family member said, hey do you want some hammy downs, I excitedly said "sure".) I put them in a storage container thinking I would get around to sorting them another time. Well that time never came around. Between being a mom/full time student, the clothes were last on my priority list.
I finally came to a breaking point this weekend. I couldn't take it anymore. My poor husband and I spent Saturday and part of Sunday sorting through all the containers. I finally feel like we have it in a contained situation. Some totes (o-12 month clothes), are going to my moms/Richard and Maria's house (when they get one this summer--and as far as I know if you are wondering,they are not pregnant). The other totes (18-7/8), are going into the outside storage.
I finally feel like I have my apartment back. Yayayayay...The moral of this story is, I am not going to buy/take anymore clothes for the time being. Even if they are for free or a really good deal.

Pity Party!

I need to throw a pity party for myself for a few minutes. So if you don't want to read then you might want to skip this blog post.
I really try to stay positive and try to make the best of being a mom of kids with special needs. Some days (most days), I end up feeling sad about my kids never growing up and having a normal live. Most people don't want to deal with me/my kids because they feel awkward or don't know what to say to me. I laugh at myself, because I really don't want them to say anything at all. I just sometimes might need a caring ear and understanding.
I laugh when moms say, oh it will get better or this faze will pass. I have been stuck in this same faze for 4 1/2 years!
My days consist of, running one child or the other to a therapy (or even 2 or 3 therapy's a day). Then I have to fight Elizabeth to eat,go to sleep,stay in the grocery cart etc.
It just doesn't seem fair ! What I would give to have my children tell me they love me or hug/kiss me and know what it means. What I would give to have a conversation with Elizabeth. Not an elaborate conversation or course but a I am hungry or I am sad or I need to poop. Or I want this or that. Instead she just whines all day. Anyways, I could go on and on.
Anyways, if you are still reading, I am sorry.

Kalia

It will be a year tomorrow since I lost my dear friend Kalia to cancer. I still miss her calls and friendship. I will catch myself thinking of Kalia when I watch certain movies or hear certain songs that we liked. Or when something exciting or funny happens I think of how Kalia would love to hear about it. She was always there to listen. She was always routing for me and always knew what to say to me to make things seem better. I am thankful for her influence in my life.